heartless_blek

2011-05-30T17:27:00.001+08:00

为什么又会有想要离开的感觉。。。

2011-04-22T00:20:00.001+08:00

我的问题，都是我的问题。
对着一个人，24小时也好，也不会觉得闷，还会觉得有点完美。
以为就这样，幸福了。。
但感情是双方面的，那如果一方不这么认为，那另一方是否应该放手？
以前过太多必须提心吊胆的日子，已经不想要了。
但原来也没办法避免，再也不想一厢情愿。
私人空间，是每个男人都需要的吧。正好，女人相反。
相爱容易相处难。唉。。。

2010-07-31T21:34:00.002+08:00

Don't know where to express~ Is everything ok?
Am I doing all wrong?
Why are we became like this~
What am I doing in these few months?
Everything gone wrong~
Don't know what to say anymore~
Change, and still will change~ sigh...

2010-01-02T04:04:00.006+08:00

Sunny Day

The 21st years old birthday;
The first birthday without me and you;
We're not in love anymore;
You got your freedom and happy;
My dreams and wishes in pass 3 years already came true;
Be happy & Happy birthday;
Goodbye.

2009-12-07T02:10:00.007+08:00

Sunny Day

忽然好想把我们的一切都忘掉；
不想回忆起；
也不想再记起；

2009-12-01T02:57:00.004+08:00

Sunny Day

The feeling getting more stronger, my heart is getting more uneasy;
Sweet** Happy** Happiness** Unhappy** Angry** Nervous** blablabla...
Fuhhh....
I know I shouldn't escape coz I still have to face it someday;
No one know what will happen after all these;
But I hope you're the one. ^^

2009-11-27T08:06:00.001+08:00

Leaving is the only choice...

2009-11-18T20:13:00.004+08:00

Rainy Day

Thousand words pouring out but no way to express;
I chose to be alone here, friends were tiring of what I did;
Yea of course me too. haha I'm the one who made the decision;
Deserve it ^^

2009-10-18T23:26:00.004+08:00

I don't want to care for you anymore but what for am still caring;
I don't want to care is it someone there when you're down or hurt;
I don't want to care is it someone there even you're mad but actually you need someone to comfort you;
I don't want to care about you'll scare or lonely or not;
You push me to him... This is what you deserve!
...
Why am I still caring......

2009-09-29T21:43:00.001+08:00

Rainy Day

Again~
I don't know when I can't stop my emo, I'm tired of what I used to do;
Protect him but hurting myself or just be with him no matter what;
We loving each other but not going to get back together;
coz he's leaving; Thousand reasons he gave me;
Well, he chose what he want; so do I?
If we made for each other, so we'll be;
This is what he used to tell me;
I trust you, but I just don't wanna be your burden anymore;

2009-09-26T03:03:00.026+08:00

Sunny Day

Went to Genting at night;
But the next day was the deadline for my project;
Planned to watch G-force;
Unfortunately, ticket for the all night show were sold out;
So we decide to go somewhere to online and I can do my assignment;
We spend our night at Starbucks and KFC; ^^
The environment and weather was so jeang;
The cold wind with my Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino Blended Creme;
Jeang!! ^^

Random photograph**

Starbucks GentinG**

The flower under the morning Sun ^^

Buffet ^^
Buai**

2009-09-23T21:42:00.002+08:00

Sunny Day All the while I just thought he's the one I want;
But after the talk last night until today;
I don't know what's right or wrong;
I can't even feel am really happy, or not;
He tell me that he's always with me;
He never ask me to wait him coz he loves me and don't want to be selfish;
He want to be just friend now and keep on contact;
He want to marry me if both of us still suitable for each other after 2 to 3 years;
These words used to be what I wish him to tell me;
But what now;
I don't know what else I can do; I just can't feel am happy;
Coz am really confused with what had happened in these few months;
I hold him when he want to leave; And now;
He's holding me when I decided to leave;
No conclusion for my post today; but confuse...

2009-09-22T23:34:00.001+08:00

Sunny Day

Quite emo today;
I don't know since when he's coming back into my mind;
I'm tired of missing 'him', loving 'him' and hardly controlling myself;
I'm tired...
yea stop contact each other so...
nothing help but missing each other;
Just like drown in his memories;
Nothing can stop my mind;
is it... am really hopeless...

2009-09-20T16:27:00.016+08:00

BB June 21st bday

'Full house at Kelana Jaya;
It took us 2 hours to reach there;
NGAM!

sweet**

Chicken Chop

sepet**

Da bday gal

BB Lynn & BB June

BB Sun & BB JuneBB June & Jing

Dear Lynn & I ^^

their so called nicest pic. kaka ^^

On call with someone.. keke...
Joey & BB June
Happy Bday Dear~ muaksss...
Make a wish~
Smil3sss...... cheeseeee~

Muaksss.. Lub You~

sweet**
ma 3minutes bf** kaka...
Ooppsss... ^^
Huggiesss~ ^^

2009-09-16T23:03:00.002+08:00

Rainy Day~

Last night was a good good night for me;
For these 4 months long;
It was our lovely 3yrs anni. if we're still couple;
well, am beering with 'him' the whole night long;
I don't know what I did is it stupid or just releasing my feeling;
Anyways, no matter what I did or think simply;
I know am still loving him very very much;
But at least I'd made my decision now;
I'm letting go...

2009-07-28T20:53:00.003+08:00

Sunny Day;

16th of July, the last day 'he' hug me, kiss me, and Gone;
Yea we broken up 2 months ago, but that day, we together for a bet;
Sound stupid, 'he' said that 'he' love me, but have to leave;
Okay enough, at last I'd made up my mind;
It's over, It's really over and I have to face to truth;
'He' just lying when 'he' said still loving me;
Who said, time will recover your heart;
Who said, just don't contact with each other and everything will be ok;
At least until now, I still can't find my way;

2009-06-20T22:56:00.007+08:00

Sunny day,

Well, let's update what had happen within my lunar birthday until today~
Actually the next day of my lunar birthday, I broke up with 'him';
Unexpected thing happened, 'he' told me, 'he' don't love me anymore;
yea me too so shock, the world is turning;
yea my relationship gone; the one who I love, gone;
We ended up our 3yrs relationship, in a rainy night~
I hate to being in love~
Nonono and no anyone will know or understand that;
Love can change, by anything;
Promise is just a little piece of cake;
It'll breaking by time;
yea I do hate time, I hate rainy night, I do hate myself too;
But I need time to recover now;
I still need to survive even rainy night;
I still being myself now too;
What a crazy complicated world;
Yea, what I can say is...
I really lost...

2009-05-05T23:14:00.009+08:00

Sunny day;

Today, should be a happiest day for this few months for me;
I never thought I have that feeling after met you;
But I felt lost; I'm so lost;
'Love', I'm scared of it;
I'm be in two minds; Turn my step back, or be brave and move on;
For my trait of being irresolute; I'm really lacking firmness of our love this time;
I need courage; I need lots and lots of help; I'm confusing;
It's so emptiness, loneliness, and loss;
This is first time I feel so down; Down with no actual reason;
I don't know what is happening; What I'm doing;
What I'm going to face; What's going to happen on me;
God, I just want a simple life; I just need someone who care and love me that's enough;
What for I can't even sure my own feeling even;
My scared are drowned my love; my mind; even myself too;
I can't feel my heart anymore; Can't feel it beating until hardly breathe;
Tomorrow, which is my lunar birthday, we date and be with each other;
Who knows, your family having problem and you gonna back to them;
Well, its fine for me;
Coz' what I need is not your accompany but my heart back;
If you can return it back to me... I'll do whatever; I swear;
I felt the emptiness that I never had now;
I told myself not to cry when my birthday;
Be strong girl, just a difficulty in love, you'll be alright;
Be strong, what a acid and painful word; for who in love;
Well, 15mins to go;
Happy birthday to me;
I wish; I could be fine, with my heart;

2009-05-04T12:16:00.007+08:00

Big sun with howling wind;

Complicated relationship that I having, now;
I'm kinda like blindly fall in love with 'him';
No matter what 'he' said, even that's so obviously is just a lie;
I'll just forgive or try to understand 'him' and leave it;
Or maybe 'he' don't even know by his own what's the problem;
Or maybe 'He' don't know what love is;
Or maybe 'he' just don't know how to love me anymore;
I knew I'll regret when get back to 'him';
But what I'm still doing this;
I keep asking myself why why why;
Why am I doing this;
What for I'm still doing this;
I remember my ex. principal said that;
once you repeat to do a thing in everyday;
It will become your habit and used to it after 19times;
So what's for me if I'd with 'him' for so long;
What's left; Nothing because I'm in;
Love can't be blind until knowing it will spoil my life, but still going on;
I knew this; I'm scared too;
But what, I don't know why I'm still think like can be nothing and we'll be ok;
We must knock ourselves out to get through the difficulty;
I'm confident with it because I want to do it;
I wanna feel 'him' happiness;
I want 'him' to feel the happiness that 'he' never did;
I want 'him' to be happy;
These are all the reason for me to stand until now;
We gone through many troubles and sadness;
But of course, we understand each other quite much;
To become conscious of what the next step each other will do;
Well, couple, should be like that right;
I know I shouldn't make everything like so serious;
Sometimes I need to learn how to take it easy;
For how to manage a relationship;
Wow, wonder how I gonna do it and make it;
Happiness, waiting there?

2009-05-02T18:19:00.000+08:00

2009-05-02T00:08:00.014+08:00

Fine and cloudless

Since last break up day, I feel much more better now;
Even I still crying and still ask myself to be strong;
But the most important thing to support me until today is,
Still 'him';
We keep messaging each other even we broke up;
We still talking about our problem; without any hostile;
I'm confusing why;
A couple, can not talk nicely when they're together;
Only know how to stand for own view;
But when breaking up, heart broken,
The concern only shown in succession;
Is it human being to be like that; to be foolishly;
I'm appreciate that 'he' still care about me that much;
'He' felt so sorry for saying that sentence to me;
Ya that's really a sentence which hurt me the most;
But one more thing;
He did something;
No matter how I tell myself that's just a normal thing that guys will do;
But I just can't, I can't accept it;
'He' smoke;
Well, I knew this is so childish to force a guy not to smoke;
But since 'his' health is not that good;
And he's the only son in 'his' family; *included parents and grandparents*
How can 'he' spoil his health as he like or don't like;
'He' used to smoke before, but 'he' choose to quit smoking;
I tried to controlled him; and 'he' control himself getting less to smoking;
Around half year after;
At last, 'he' stop smoking already;
So hard to did that;
I hate;
Why 'he's' so irresponsible and selfish; to himself, to me, to his family;
I'm so shock that how 'he' can't just broke a thing or promise so free and easy;
Before that, I still thinking is it this time again we'll back together;
I have a flash that we are going back together;
But what, you did that; You hurt yourselves and everyone who loves you;
I...
Just can't... I don't know what to do;
I hate this feeling;
I hate I still hoping for us;
I hate to be like a jerky;
I hate that I love you;
I hate myself;
Why... ♥I love you♥...

2009-04-29T20:12:00.003+08:00

想到你的时候；我控制不让自己去想你；
听到你爱听的歌；我就把它换掉；
听到你的消息；我就当已经不在乎你；
看到像你的人；我就当已过去；
你抱过的枕头；我就宁愿不抱；
你送我的东西；我宁愿看也不看；
忍不住痛哭的时候；我就看些笑话；
心在痛的时候；就当过几天就会痊愈；
我不是在骗自己吧；
我应该没那么爱你；
我应该很快就能忘了你；
我应该能习惯一个人；
我不想再见到你；我怕我会真的放不下；
我不想听到你的消息；我怕有天会有另一个她出现；
我不想看到你拥着她；
我不想看到你对她温柔的样子；
我不想再谈感情；
也就不会再受伤害；
一切都成过去；
我需要的是时间；
对！我只是不够时间；
我会习惯的；没有你。。。

2009-04-29T13:20:00.005+08:00

Big sun out there;
I'm cold...

Today, Is a ending for a relationship;
My boyfriend and I;
I used to think that 'He' is the most important person for me ( I think. );
We have been together for 2 years and 7 months 14days;
Ya of coz', every couple will quarrel always;
And maybe Malaysian or Asian's habit;
We used to break up but still will back together;
But this time, we both know that we can't back together anymore;
Since 'He' said that I so trouble;
Nice to say is girlFriend;
Bad is just a person who only will making trouble;
Well, I had used to listen what 'He' said bad to me;
Maybe I won't feel sad after I loose him;
Or maybe my own self don't even know how much I love him and need him;
Or I just can't let go 'some' relationship behind so I scared to breaking up;
What had happened within this two years were past;
Since he said don't wanna see me anymore;
Don't wanna touch me anymore;
Don't even feel happy with me anymore;
Just go ahead; I know I should let go from very long ago;
But why I'm not; Because I still 'THOUGHT' 'He' is still 'him';
But today;
Thanks for touch my dead point and I had chose to let you go;
Thanks for remind me what had happened before;
I remember it all;
And don't ever said how my 'friendssss' hate me;
All I did to made them to hate me is coz' of you too;
They just can't stand why I chose a person who treat me like this but not better;
So... you don't have the right to say how my friends don't like or hates me;
But is ok; We had end up our relationship peacefully;
I'll go on my wonderful life, without you;
I don't have to make life like can't life without you;
As you said;
Don't rely on you; The face is so so so ugly when I crying; and When I calling you;
Enough for standing all such stupid and brainless words from a boyfriend that you love;
Anyways, no matter what you do to me or for me after this;
No matter how you regret or maybe you are not;
I'll never back together with you anymore;
Thanks again for 2 years and 7 months 14days;
Good luck for your life after today;
Bless me too..

2009-04-24T23:32:00.001+08:00

Movie time~

*Hourglass*

This movie is described A girl’s first love;

The Girl named Hng;

She went a place in Japan which has a huge hourglass;

There is a largest hourglass in the world and it counts by year;

Hng’s mummy bought a hourglass for her;

Hourglass; bottom was past, center is present, and top is future;

But once you turn around the hourglass, past had became future;

Hng and her mom moved to grandma’s house coz’ of her father was Debt lots of money and they force to leave their home;

They two was host in grandma’s house where placed at kind of rural area;

Whole countryside knew what had happened to them;

One day, Hng was run out from grandma’s house when her grandma’s was nagging her mom about her father’s matter;

She look down from outside of her grandma’s house where placed on hill;

There was a nice view and she wonder is there any stores down there;

She ran along the path way to find out but there’s just a small countryside;

She meet a guy; Name ah Gho;

Hng not feel like talk to him coz’ Gho staring at her when their first meet;

Gho knew who is she and after their first few talk;

He forcing Hng to do some work to earn money which is take some wood to a work place;

The main purpose of him is to help her but Hng keep complaining why and why;

She knew some new friends when she’s working; They named Xiong(girl) and Teng(guy);

They are brother and sister but character was totally different;

Xiong was a active and cute a girl; but Teng was very cool and quiet;

Some nights, Hng heard her mom cried at midnight sadly;

Hng just can stay by her side as her support but can’t do anything;

Hng start to work every morning; She getting better relationship with Xiong and Gho too;

One day, Teng invited 3 of them to go his house and eat some snacks;

A doctor ran to Hng and told her that her mom was fainted;

The only thing that doctor asked Hng to do is;

Don’t ever ask or tell her mom to be strive;

Hng was so sad coz she knew that her mom was keep pretending she’s ok but she’s just pretending all the time;

Not to cry in front of anyone; Not to let herself to feel lost;

But what only left inside her mom is a broken heart;

She don’t need anyone to understand her and she just keep it to herself but no one know that;

She still loving her husband even he did things badly to them and spoil their family;

The next day at night, Hng realize that her mom was not in room;

She saw her mom going out and she want to follow too but her mom asked her to stay home;

Sadly, slowly talking, with a smiling face;

Her mom, was lost for 2 days; They try to contact with police; but never get any news;

Third day; their house door was opened; Hng and grandma ran out to welcome back her mom;

What there was a few police; and things had happen;

Hng mom was suicide; and Hng loose her mom when she’s 14 years old;

Is winter, Hng stand in front of her mom’s hall;

She throw the hourglass to her mom’s photo and shout at her mom;

Said she is timid; Hng knee down and cried crumble with her grandma;

Ah Gho saw what had happened, he take the hourglass and fix it for Hng and take back for her;

Gho knew that hourglass was a present from Hng’s mom;

Hng cried choking and sadly and said she’s alone; Mom don’t want her and left her alone;

Gho hugging her and promise he’ll protect her and Hng was never alone; Forever; and ever;

Hng and Gho were in love;

Their love story had spread to everyone;

Some said that they had married after few years;

Some said that they are a pair of unbreakable couple;

Love

can force a person to death;

can last long forever with happiness;

Anyhow;

Its irreplaceable~

2009-04-24T01:06:00.009+08:00

The Most Funny Joke that I ever Read**

有前輩說：他上輩子殺了人，所以這輩子處罰他當老師。
唉...我想我不只殺了人，還是………………殺.. 錯..
人…. 才會淪落到當國文老師………

換小學老師了:

１。題目：一邊……一邊……

小朋友寫：他一邊脫衣服，一邊穿褲子。

老師批語：他到底是要脫還是要穿啊？

２。題目：其中

小朋友寫：我的其中一隻左腳受傷了。

老師批語：你是蜈蚣嗎？

３。題目：陸陸續續

小朋友寫：下班了，爸爸陸陸續續的回家了。

老師批語：你到底有幾個爸爸呀？

４。題目：難過

小朋友寫：我家門前有條水溝很難過。

老師批語：老師更難過。

５。題目：又又

小朋友寫：我的媽媽又矮又高又胖又瘦。

老師批語；你的媽媽是變形金鋼嗎？

６。題目：你看

小朋友寫：你看什麼看！沒看過啊

老師批語：沒看過

７。題目：欣欣向榮

小朋友寫：欣欣向榮榮告白。

老師批語：連續劇不要看太多了！

８。題目：好吃

小朋友寫：好吃個屁。

老師批語：有些東西是不能吃的。

９。題目：天真

小朋友寫：今天真熱。

老師批語：你真天真。

１０。題目：果然

小朋友寫：昨天我吃水果，然後喝涼水。

老師批語：是詞組，不能分開的。

１１。題目：先……再……，例題：先吃飯，再冼澡。

小朋友寫：先生，再見！

老師批語：想像力超過了地球人的智慧。

１２。題目：況且

小朋友寫：一列火車經過，況且況且況且況且況且況

老師批語：我死了算了

2009-04-23T21:07:00.012+08:00

Weather still super hotta!!!

Wake up in the morning and get ready to go to college
even today I don't need to meet my lect. which is Mdm. Suah;
Me and Lynn went a bit early because Mdm. wanna meet Lynn;
We going college by cab everyday;

But unlucky, today we met a 'xxxxxx' cab driver
who don't know the way but still pretending that he know
and I think he got some problem with his mind because the way
he driving on the road like someone drunk and keep talk to himself.
The main thing is he 'eat' our 30cents!

But since we already used to met those cab driver who IRRESPONSIBLE;
I just try to release my angry here and forget it;

Spending 3 hours was too long for me;
Why?
Because I'm still being myself;
Haven't have my breakfast yet and its afternoon already;
At the same time when my stomach was knocking my 'stomach wall';
June calling me to go and buy some 'snacks' together;

Oh God bless me and I have a sweet friend who understand and rescue me;
when I'm going to starved to death;

Hu~~~ I'm having my Kentucky Nuggets in my classroom which spend me rm5.10;
plus bla bla bla tax so spend me rm6.20 actually.

I finish it at around 12.30pm and I went to eat my lunch at 1pm;
ErKhem, I share my lunch with June coz 2 of us also can't finish by self;
We didn't follow our plan to go k-box coz Lynn have to meet Mdm. again;
so we went home and rest then started to do our homework;

My whole day spending like this and ya I know is bored but this is so called;
My Life...

2009-04-22T19:06:00.020+08:00

Weather hot like hell!!!

The big sun made me can't concentrate to do my work!
Can't even see my laptop screen under the hot sun!
Well, at the same time my housemate which is Lynn and Phoebe
are the same situation too,
we went June's room to play;
We all shout crazy sang crazy and dance crazy.
Funny Lynn had look in the mirror up to 6times in an hour; ^^
After an hour crazy time only back to our homework.
How often we can play like this after this;
We all going to graduate on 1st June 09;
OMG, only around one month left!
I have no idea will we all still meet each other after graduate because
all of us are going diff. way of our life;
WE ARE GOING TO GO ON OUR OWN LIFE.

Sound so scary since we have been stay together almost 3 years.

What will happen next?
Am I able to fling off all complicated relationship here
and work in Singapore;
Or working in Malaysia, Kota Damansara? yuckss...;
Hope things are going prosperity~~~
Bless me**